October 7, 2007 by Matt

Oprah Winfrey in Haiku

Scorn a man who says

Only what you want to hear

And now Doctor Phil

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Matt Rasmussen 🇺🇸🇩🇰Follow

"[H]e was wise enough to know that nothing ever happened on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter in the outset..." -Dickens, A Christmas Carol

Every card-based anime:
"I will use this card, which is better than yours!"
"I will use THIS card, which is better than yours!"
*flashy light effects for 40 seconds, characters boredly check their phones*
"Chairman Kaga has chosen squid eyes!"
\(°ロ°)'/

When you were two years old and cute, your aunties passed you around like a bag of candy.