YouTube Captioning: Perversion For Profit (1965) (Part 2 of 4)

YouTube Captioning: Perversion For Profit (1965) (Part 2 of 4)

Dozens more captioned YouTube videos, including several complete feature films, at YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com. Create your own embeddable captioned YouTube videos here.

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As long as we come.
Leave Niels Bohr out of this!
Like Vanity Fair?
Oh yeah. He’s stuffing.
↑ Tai-Pan must owe him a big favor.
(If there is such a thing.)
Just think of the chest-shaving mishaps.
one    
James Dean and the Bull Dyke – pg. 37
Hey! Don’t be dissing George Takai.
Japan?
Actually, sexual preference in pedophilia breaks down at about the same percentages as homosexuality in the general population.
Suck it in, kid.
Somehow I don’t think these kids were the hope of the world.
“Look HAAAAARD… Mmmm…”
“…those friggin’ Jonas Brothers.”
People with two vests?
← The Rails    

    This Film →

“…even though we listed it as a ‘stealth’ gay mag 1 minute 10 ago.”
“…in that they’re coherent.”
e•rot•ic Adj.– Not rotic
TUMNUS!
This film?
“…Archie Comics.”
two
several \/ persons
“…the Steppenwolf LP…”
“…nudie pens…”

8:00 PM 8:30 PM 9:00 PM 9:30 PM 10:00 PM
 PBS An Appeal to the Sodamist: Live
From The Hatch Shell!
New (CC)
Red Green
Show
Repeat (CC)

“…but then, everything hints at bestiality to me.”
Dr. Sorokinsays
← Cite more than one source.
What kind of zoo is that?
Homo Habilis: Cornholing’s king
Not that many women read Ayn Rand.
Music hipsters?
Purple construction paper guy is getting sh**canned for this one.
I prefer brushing by the cashier with the nice rack, but sure.
George Putnam: Down with the streets.
“EAT THIS DRUMSTICK!”
They say every problem is an opportunity.
Through, by, from and for.
Cool!
“…and the girlfriend who makes you hold it as she tries on stuff.”
“…recipes, train schedules…”
Chick Lit: Throwing our fight against Communism.
In print?
“…download a ‘reading guide’ and listen to an exclusive ‘author interview.’ An author interview!
How can they treat books like that!

YouTube Captioning: Perversion For Profit (1965) (Part 1 of 4)

Dozens more captioned YouTube videos, including several complete feature films, at YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com. Create your own embeddable captioned YouTube videos here.

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“STEPHENIE MEYER: A CELEBRATION”
(AND KINKINESS

FOR KICKS!)

(not the one jailed for sodomy)
“I’ve never been jailed for sodomy.”
“Elves.”
“But you can stop this ‘Fred Rogers’…”
For a free catalogue, write to the address at the end of this film.
“Quit hogging STRIP, Judy.”
“It may not be true, but it is a FACT.”

Yeah!
unseen airquotes

“…the smiths of smut. The hustlers of hard-on…!”

THE SAN FERNANDO VALLEY

increasingly worse Red.
worse in volume? Agree.
| increase and flourish | Awk.
Fox?
Finally! A growth industry.
You better watch out

You better not fap…

Remember, these are the same people who’d rather go bankrupt than socialize medical insurance.
“The teenager is by definition a pervert…”
“And yet you know them… don’t you?”
Aw. Sad octopus.
Oh let them yiff.
“…It’s dope and it’s with it…”
“…buy porn.”
They need more to do.
Here it comes…
.

o

O
( Crap, I’m getting turned on! )

.

  o

O
( Like that little slut Tammy next door… )

“But we will work until our pamphlets are on EVERY newsstand!”
“…made this octopus sad.”
“THEY WERE PURCHASED ON THE INTERNET!”
Good thing half of those don’t exist anymore.
“But not Costco. What the hell Costco? I bought a damn membership!”
Wait a minute. These are just YA novels.
.

 o

O
( Damn hard-on… )

Awesome! I love nudity!
Would the washer machine be more wholesome?
No, the gay guy mags are for stimulating the rear.
“…the sexually comfortable.”
So do Hindu girls, and they’re HOT.
(Slavery, masochism, outgroup violence…)
It might help if the women weren’t laughing at this guy.
I thought they were just failed actresses showing their tits.
Kind of the way O’Reilly doesn’t give you a clickable link when he rails against 4chan…
Or anyone with a classic tv Gidget fantasy.
↑                                           ↑

Could they have censored any less?

We’re to understand you’re not turned on by healthy breasts?
LESBIAN IMPLICATIONS
with DJ Perversion

This Friday at Le Shed

He almost drifted off for a second there.
Obbbbviously.
“Let’s stay with this frame for a moment more…”
That’s. Not. What “fetish” means!
Dr. Sorokin is one hot MILF!
Is that really where we come?
Yes. Have you ever seen real nudists?
Jump ball!
How many blind people have joined your group exactly?
And blamed pictures of people having fun?
“…and not by watching his abusive ’60s father beat his mother…”
(National Geographic)
Capped by Space Toast
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com

YouTube Captioning: Clean Coal Success Story

Find more captioned YouTube videos from KKDW, TheDiva, GlitterRock and myself at YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com. Create your own embeddable captioned videos here.

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TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL!
Fishing next to a 50 year old coal plant. Get ready for the Big Lie, folks.
Rednecks?
“Far as we could get from this sh** hole.”

“Tha’s right.”

SOFT FOCUS = SINCERITY
UNRELATED TESTIMONIALS = RAPPORT
“…your wife.”
I should say so!
“Still f*ckin’ your wife, Ted.”
That’s easy to remember.
You put little suits on steam?
“We’re going to be using steel, which is metal. And burn coal, which burns.”
Heeeeeeeere they come to snuff the Bruce Na…
It can’t be that important…
Enter your own damn text.
It means 40% efficiency, vs. the 37% of hundred-year-old technology.
PARTIAL FOCUS = EVEN MORE SINCERITY
(Added in post.)
TIME LAPSE CLOUDS = THOUGHTFULNESS
(Also works with bodies of water, stars, hilly forests.)
It’s basically a big Dirt Devil.
“And about 5 million tons of CO2 per annum.”
If you’d like to know what these a**holes are actually on about, Council Bluffs #4 happened to be the first coal plant built after the EPA began forcing the power industry to reduce mercury emissions. There are three older plants on the site, each releasing 5x the mercury of #4. We have two more minutes — think they’ll mention any of this?
GREEN STUFF = FRIENDLY
They’re circulating, are they?
Rape, larceny, poor dental hygiene…
You built. A fourth. Plant.

That means more pollution, you carpetbagging twat.

“And global warming was made up by Al Gore, so…”
“Fish sticks.”
Walri? Kid’s nothing if not ambitious. And a bit stupid.
I’m sorry, which disease did you catch?
I only speak New England Redneck, can you repeat large portions of that?

TMI, dude.

“That was no fish, that was my wife!”
*boom!*
FAMILY TESTIMONIAL = TRUST
“Just not in any way that affects me.”
BACKLIGHTING + FILL = CALM
“Something heavier than the lure.”
MULTIPLE MATCH CUTS = CLOSURE
HITACHI: Doing the Minimum Required by Law™
And expecting a handjob for it!
Capped by Space Toast
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com

Blosxom: Upgrading to an RSS 2.0 Feed

Blosxom still pretty much just damn works, but it’s dying. A dead News link on a project site is never a good sign. It won’t be long before the STP will have to move to another weblog backend, but that’s for another day.

Today’s issue: Facebook keeps inexplicably dropping my RSS feed. Facebook is of course happy to pretend there isn’t an internet outside its walls, but I get a lot more feedback on my ideas through Facebook than in the blog comments. Whether it’s the cause of this problem or not, in keeping with its age, Blosxom serves feeds in the RSS 0.90 format, which would be a bit of a ColecoVision even if Blosxom had ever done it right.

I’ve modified my copy of the blosxom.cgi script to produce a modern RSS 2.0 feed that validates correctly. You can do the same. Here’s how:

1. Open blosxom.cgi in a text editor and scroll to the bottom.

2. Replace this rubbish:

rss content_type text/xml

rss head <?xml version=”1.0″?>\n<!– name=”generator”

content=”blosxom/$version” –>\n<!DOCTYPE rss PUBLIC “-//Netscape

Communications//DTD RSS 0.91//EN”

“http://my.netscape.com/publish/formats/rss-0.91.dtd”>\n\n<rss

version=”0.91″>\n  <channel>\n   

<title>$blog_title $path_info_da $path_info_mo

$path_info_yr</title>\n   

<link>$url</link>\n   

<description>$blog_description</description>\n   

<language>$blog_language</language>\n

rss story   <item>\n   

<title>$title</title>\n   

<link>$url/$yr/$mo_num/$da#$fn</link>\n   

<description>$body</description>\n  </item>\n

rss date \n

rss foot   </channel>\n</rss>

3. With this rubbish:

rss content_type text/xml

rss head <?xml version=”1.0″?>\n\n<rss

version=”2.0″>\n  <channel>\n   

<title>$blog_title $path_info_da $path_info_mo

$path_info_yr</title>\n   

<link>$url</link>\n   

<description>$blog_description</description>\n   

<language>$blog_language</language>\n

<generator>blosxom $version</generator>\n

<docs>http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss</docs>\n

rss story   <item>\n   

<title>$title</title>\n   

<pubDate>$dw, $da $mo $yr $ti:00

GMT</pubDate>\n   

<link>$url/$yr/$mo_num/$da#$fn</link>\n   

<guid

isPermaLink=”true”>$url$path/$fn</guid>\n   

<description>$body</description>\n  </item>\n

rss date \n

rss foot   </channel>\n</rss>

That’s it.

YouTube Captioning: Jesus and Moses Went Golfing

The YouTube Captioning Thing has been upgraded to handle higher resolution videos. Find more captioned videos from KKDW, TheDiva, GlitterRock and myself at YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com. Create your own embeddable captioned YouTube videos here.

khoSNERaCt0

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“…you said we’d be in the desert for a week.”
Book of Clubs: 8 wood 4
Please don’t do that.
Spreads a choirboy’s anus, and…
Jesus doesn’t handle confrontation well.
But it’s hard to make par with your penis.
Passive-aggressively immitating Charlie Chaplin.
Moses was just being an asshole.
Is Jesus doing the sound effects too?
( / 2) –
For more of God being a dick, please read the Old Testament.
God is just sick of your masturbating.
(The guy reaching for the man with the limp penis.)
Did he say when?
.

o

O

(He’s right… He’s right… That’s right… Oh my god, that’s so right…)

Did they know how condoms worked?
“BASTARDS!”
It also lets SATAN crawl up your hoo-ha.
“You… SLUT.”
Actually, the Catholic church has spent the last thousand years debating the point of “ensoulement” without coming to any solid consensus.
Something that happens naturally to 60-80% of fertilized eggs anyway. (Yes, fertilized eggs.)
Wait, when did logic come into the Catholic church?
Or “GALILEO WAS RIGHT!” prior to Nirvana dropping the Nevermind album.
There there, Thomas Aquinas, William of Occam and Aristotle — the molestache man is almost done.
Yes, I can clearly see the moral and logical problem you’ve backed yourself into.
←Bad    Good→
“Sorry about your son’s sphincter, here’s some money…”
Do you get the feeling that somewhere there’s a shop class missing its wacky teacher, and the girls are having to use the bandsaw without someone leaning over to guide both of their hands?
Brought to You by Your Ashur-Worshipping Friends in Ninveh:

Capital of the Ancient Assyrian Empire

Capped by Space Toast
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com

YouTube Captioning: 2010 K-POP Single Chart (March Week 3)

So many more captioned YouTube videos, including several feature films, at YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com. Create your own embeddable captioned YouTube videos here.

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2010: A K-Pop Odyssey
“What!?”
“Ow!”
“Quit it!”
“Dammit!”
“Quit shoving!”
It could be gas.
Translation: “…but the Body Shop was closed!”
            ↑

To be fair, chicks with violins rock.

           

To be fair, chicks with violins rock.

Shouldn’t he be wearing tissue boxes on his feet?
“Go my child! Escape from the man fairy!”
To be exact, love, a can of Red Bull, and two shots each of Bacardi and Jagermeister taught me to drink.
“Play it again, Chan.”
“My urine sample!”
.

o

O
(Dammit, I’m almost out of condiments)

Seeing as this appears to be a tv show theme, you’d think cutting a video wouldn’t have been ponderous.
If you squished today and twenty years ago together, this is the horrible clothing you would end up with.
I thought HOPPER + DRAMA = EASY RIDER
(Shouldn’t this be over?)
Boyz II Twatz
Walk into the damn light!
You: zip up
You: unzip
What about Noein?
8eight appears with 2AM and 4Men in the new release Now 7hat’s What 1 Call 1nexplicable Use of Digits #7.
Where do you get a belt with a heat exchanger?
Not his usual look. He came here straight from dodging the “100M from a school or playground” restriction slapped on him by the judge.
There’s a joke you’re not in on here: The band is called “4Men,” but there are three of them, without a testicle between them.
I Can’t (Theme to Virginia Woolf’s “To the Lighthouse”)
I want to enjoy this, but there’s an air of barely-contained desperation around these women.
See what I mean?
; _ ;
^_^
You do know they make unobtrusive mics, right?
Love. I’m noticing a theme here.
Falling Down II: Lady Luckless
A sewer in my bed…!

[INSERT EMOTION HERE]

“Hey! It’s only raining in front of the camera!”
Yay! The shocker song!
Two in the pink, one in the stink! Shock! SHOCK!
Maybe they’re saying “shuck.” It could be a corn song.
But didn’t get a wrist or a finger
Goddamn the cur
Jack, that cat

(He’s technically a woman but don’t tell the officer)

Korean is not a language you can “spit.”
People who won’t even dog-ear a page run in fear from
Marginalia Man!
The hand bump. Classic.

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Well don’t everybody run away. Somebody’s got to clean up around here.
*Lloyd Thaxton pedals through*
I knooooow a little place/ Not far from town/

(Gotta go) A kind of pretty place/ Three up, two down

Ahh. The Korean Miley.
“Good. Gooooood…”             ↑
Another song with “love” in the title. Take a drink.
Confirm. Deny.
You take that back!
Usually you have to be near a base to get Cum-Shot Happy Entertainment in Korea.
Not that I’d… know….
I’m getting a little sick of running too.
What are we running from, at least?
Stop telling me what to do!
+5 Chain Mail? She can’t equip that until level 15!
Does lupin grow in Korea? Or is this a posh remake of “Hungry Like the Wolf?”
Sarah Jessica Park Hyor
“Wait! I’ll get furniture! I swear.”
“Or a door! At least I’ll get a door!”
I hear the Marvel continuity nazis sh*t kittens when Dazzler moved to Korea and had a son.
“Or scenery outside of the windows! Anything!”
“You know I love you more than my cheap particle effects! Please!”
Sentinel attack! Hit the deck.
Gee. This video.
Cut scenes from a movie in, and it’s MTV: 1988-1994.
(For those younger people in the audience, MTV used to play music.)
BubbleLove.com was already registered. And she was NOT happy with what she found there.
Someone lob another mortar.
2AM: The all fighting-game-villain band
Yes, you did wrong. Now comb it flat again.
Did anyone else just see Kim Jong Il?
D’oh, my bad!
Look, we’ll see if we can sort it out with super glue…
What’s with the fourth grade love note? I thought child molestation was only big in Japan.
She been driving me so blue
I’ll not chicken out again!
Her mom’s so cocky…
Young as kids can get…
Yes, “T-ara” is #1. We haven’t been counting up.
I know someone who goes crazy because of his violent psychoses. Y’all should hang.
Somewhere in Seoul: “It’s peurile, but it doesn’t have an annoying repeated phrase. Who wrote that ‘Oh Oh Oh Oh’ bit for T-ara? Get me that bastard. That bastard sh*ts gold records!”
“What a world!”
Chunky? Lady, Gainax characters are chunky compared to you.
Fosse!
To recap #1: Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, chunky-chunky-chunky-chunky-chunky-chunky-chunky, Satan’ll never reach out.
Capped by Space Toast
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com

YouTube Captioning: Duck and Cover

So many more captioned YouTube videos at YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com. Create your own embeddable captioned YouTube videos here.

-2kdpAGDu8s
You need Flash player 8+ and JavaScript enabled to view this video.
And to the sound of the Dumb Dumb song, we welcome you to a classic piece of WTF.
The Allegory of Bertrand Russell
Clearly.
Wh-? Where did-?!

Oh god, the monkey was a suicide bomber!

He didn’t speak unless spoken to…
“FOR THE CAUSE -!”
*bits of dead monkey begin to fall*
“Plod along mindlessly, and withdraw within yourself when there’s unrest.”
*instinctively mashes the Top Menu button*
“…any unathorized rebroadcast, retransmission, or relocation without the express written consent of the Civil Defense Administration is prohibited.”
I think Bert’s pretty much “out” already.
“You’re a puss.”
Scenes from “Burt the Turtle Fights VD”
Emotionally?
Sometimes monkeys just blow themselves up.
“Under my hairpiece, children.”
But do we understand its needs?
“Such as school desegregation.”
Alert the FBI if you see anyone talking to unknown fires in your neighborhood.
Hitler!
“If you ever need to drill a fire.”
“Herbie: Fully Loaded” should be avoided at all costs.
“Our ragamuffins shall protect us from the cars.”
Or risk suburban ostracism.
Pre-Tweens
Chances are you won’t.
If you’re not lucky enough to be vaporized instantly.
Or will again.
Miss Rumphius: Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
“Burn your shadow into the pavement…”
“It can menace people near drugstores, and smoke marijuana.”
Please. Bert is boiled like a sweet in there.
“Oh yeah. Oh god yeah.”
Did you know your homeowner policy doesn’t cover atomic brinksmanship?
Shame-wise
With your face?
Cover your back with your septum.
“Isn’t this f*cking bullsh*t? Wouldn’t we f*cking die anyway?”
“Shut the f*ck up, Betty.”
Sometimes you will see the monkey, sometimes you will not.
“Permission to go faster, sir.”
“PBS. No, the Mrs. Slocum’s Pussy tote bag is at the $200 level.”
“Does that look like an atomic bomb to you?”
You may be playing with yourself when the signal comes.
FASTER! TRAMPLE EACH OTHER, YOU F*CKERS! THE WEAK WILL NOT REPRODUCE UNDER THE NEW ORDER!
“Galactus!”
In your perfectly pressed suit.
Near the liqueur cabinet.
If you’re in Chinatown…
“It’s in my soundproofed apartment, right up there…”
“Let go of my elbow.”

“Forget it, baby. It’s… Chinatown.”

“…you may encounter a Beatnik.”

“Me?”

Unless you’re The Flash.
“When they dump your books, dive into a fetal position, screaming like a little girl. Watch…”
“Ugod! Wah! Stopit! Stopit! Aaugh!”
“See how he’s wet himself?”
“That’ll keep them from stuffing you in the janitor’s cart.”
“Expect them to spit on you. Fortunately, no one can jack off fast enough to soil you in that manner.”
I’ll take my chances with the bomb, thank you.
Except the room itself.
“IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD, KIDS! INCEST! DRUGS! WAAAH! HA HA HA HA!”
“…they’ll never live down the shame.”
“Out of my way, b*tch!”
“Too bad they won’t be around to enjoy it.”
“A feeble attempt, really.”
“Future civilizations will be amused by the shapes they leave in the half-molten topsoil.”
GAH! They are!
Did she put her head through the cladding?
Or her head will be preserved, anyway.
“Tony regularly wets the bed as a result. Tony’s dad beats him.”
Tony, can I recommend the other side of the wall?
Tony thinks that if he can’t see the shockwave, it can’t see him.
“Notice how he weeps, and curses Oppenheimer.”
Any unnecessary rubbing or thrusting he does is condoned by the United States Government.
“He’s armed, so be careful of him in the ensuing anarchy.”
“No matter how mad his demands.”
The armored schoolbus
“Has it ever been cleaned down here?!”
“The glass may melt and splash across your body, casting your final scream in a hideous crystalline death mask.”
“Stop eating the cooking fuel!”
If they know what’s good for them.
Or they believe it, and that’s the important bit for civil control.
As long as it’s made of 3″ thick lead.
“Which shouldn’t be much of anywhere, or you’ll just be getting what’s coming to you, you slut.”
That could have gone so many kinds of wrong.
“In all likelihood, falling structures will do this for you.”
“Seriously, what the f*ck?”
“Review the life flashing before your eyes, as the air fills with a sound and smell of sizzling bacon.”
“…lose that virginity fast.”
Kill every monkey you see.
Don’t call him Barry Allen?
Next from Astoria Public Schools, don’t miss “It’s a M.A.D., M.A.D., M.A.D., M.A.D. Cold War.”
Capped by Space Toast
YouTubeCapper.blogspot.com

The YouTube Captioning Thing Upgraded

I’ve added a second mode to the YouTube Captioning Thing. The original version allowed you to create a running commentary beneath any embeddable YouTube video. The new version has a second mode where the captions appear directly on top of the video. Here’s a demo:

peZqaHd06xk
You need Flash player 8+ and JavaScript enabled to view this video.
The original Lloyd Thaxton was a retired Grand Rapids machinist who would stand in a long raincoat and leer at the camera for an hour a day. His program ran from 1952-1960.
Back when you had to be drunk to work as a television announcer.
“With a sound as gay as their sportcoats!”

*crowd cheers*

The escalation in Vietnam?
“And other pop culture cliche crap! DAMMIT, JACK, WHERE’D YOU-? Oh, it’s in my hand…”
Thank god we invented teen sex.
What’s Dorothy doing back there? The Funky Mashed Chicken Potato?
This is what the hep crowd would be doing on a Friday night if Strom Thurmond had won the Presidency.
Where?
That’s Lake Michigan.
Well, there are a few.
I thought you said there wasn’t a cloud in the sky.
.
o
O
(Two more verses! I can make it!)

*puff puff*

The abandoned mortuary?
Maybe the old vomit factory?
Oh! The weird church on the dump road, in that trailer.
Over… over here now, dude.
Hello?
.
o
O
(It can’t be my healthy 3-pack-a-day habit, why am I so beat?)
Gomez Adams: Bandleader
The grand tradition of American songs that use up their material in 90 seconds but just keep f*cking going.
Thinking about Rayon dress pants on a bicycle seat, I hope this guy didn’t have balls when he started doing this.
Dorothy, what are you doing?
Wait, he’s not really singing!
“WE’RE EASILY ENTERTAINED!”
“Anyone got some Gold Bond?”
“…he’ll never work in this business again.”
That’s the choke.
Christian Bale, Nixon Youth
“Ixnay on your ex-life-say.”
“David, I understand you’re warehoused at the vocational school…”
“Michelle, you’re not any part negro are you? It doesn’t work on negros.”
“The same.”
*jing jing!*
Do the faggoty little ribbons come with it?
“–and fight.”
Wait, what?
Is this Britain during the rationing?
“But none for you, Dorothy — I said ‘dancers.'”
“CANNED GOODS!”
And the teenagers rebel by going away.
Capped by Space Toast
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com

YouTube Captioning: Morning Musume – Onna ni Sachi Are

Many more captioned YouTube videos at YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com. Create your own here.

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Average Ages

Morning Musume: 20

Tanpopo: 17

Berryz Kobo: 16

°C-ute: 15

(You’re welcome.)

Oh god, this is one of those sh*tty uploads where the sound is out of sync, isn’t it?
The director’s concept this time: “King Kong before the monkey shows up.”
Hugh wooed Heaney
That’s all garlic?
Condone cool weed. Neat, a wigwam
Elephant, no, Coochie Goosy
“Mother may we,” we know the rules
Let me tell her, Miss Asinine
God an emo, meet sinners armed
Sure you can’t debug Camino, why could she?
Gnu, gnu, sheep, pig
Ya, I know 9-pin
BACKHAND ME!
BACKHAND ME!
BACKHAND ME!
Double sheeting
I know Tony
Don’t let it travel on the back of me!
Yoghurt is yummy today!
I want him to cower
Sh*t I was saying you could do well
Day old Dominos
In Jew movie saloons
The cartoons
I’d like to go today
My outfit tangled a sardine
Oh, and I need some cheap art, eh?
I sat here, you know buddy
First bridge, and I’m still not sure about the sound sync.
I suppose if straight men costumed them they wouldn’t be wearing anything
Took her eating
A coke girly
Jenny mooned you? Dude, that’s your car
With those sheep they “knew” Killarney
I let them in, he says she said
I’m damn near shaking
Murdered Nietzsche
Took her emo nail like a shiv
She’s out busted — Eee! — to tomb I laid the cow
Aladdin, Nemo — get your cousins
BACKHAND ME!
BACKHAND ME!
BACKHAND ME!
I’m no condom
Eat your curry
Now can you see I’m no amateur?
Your eyes allow me to neck
A-A-e-choo! Cool wad
Sh*t, I was saying you could do well
Someone should docket her
Cool comb-over, Harry
So can you
Our life’s so cold today
Why does she care you cooked her lab?
Oh — mmm — I need some cheap art, eh
I sang here. You’re normal, eh?
What does a boa do exactly?
This is a weird version of Chicken Little.
I can’t tell what’s bad choreography, what’s bad costuming, and what’s bad lighting.
Allow me to cavort
She-Owl was sent to cool the world
Deal out those dominos
And to your own bitch, salut
Chicken, mmm!
I’ll have some coke-odin
Mad Hatter thinks of us as Eve
Odin, I need the chief RA
Outside here you’re normal, eh?
I’m ready to go’way
Sh*t, hours singing your cool new wail
So won’t you die, killer?
A true cover headache
Suck it, do
A lesser coma day
Why don’t you care, you crooked liar?
Oh what a nasal, cheap “artist”
Outside here you’re nobody
“A monkey?”
“MY monkey!”
“Her monkey?”
“Which monkey?”
“That monkey.”
“Monkey.”
“Monkey.”
“MONKEY!”
Incoming 747!

Capped by Space Toast
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com

YouTube Captioning: “In Search Of… Atlantis” (Part 2 of 3.)

This is part 2 of a roundtable captioning project between myself and contributors KKDW and TheDiva. Part 1, captioned by KKDW, can be found on the YouTube Captioning blog. TheDiva’s part 3 will appear there as well. Many more captioned YouTube videos — including our first completed feature film, courtesy of TheDiva — may be found at YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com. Create your own here.

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But could it run Doom?
When was the first non-sequitur invented?
(Except the stuff that is like it.)
Plato’s metaphorical Atlantis…
“Ruined”
Maybe it was mixed in from another puzzle. Are any of your other puzzles missing a piece?
In an analogy, for instance…
“Beyond” in which direction?
Santorini must lie to the west, in the Atlantic ocean?
“But first, I’d like to sing a little song about the most famousest of all hobbits…”
YOU BLEW IT UP! YOU MANIACS!
These fish were once cockerel.
And impossible, if you’re a Conservative.
Obsolete Science Bingo

Lamarckism Miasma Theory Telegony Vital Essence Theory Emission Theory of Vision
Aristotelian Gravity Aether Plum Pudding Model Rutherford Model Geocentrism
Newtonian Gravity Steady State Theory FREE
God
SPACE
Flat Earth Theory Hollow Earth
Catastrophism Expanding Earth Theory Creationism Land Bridge Theory Freudian Dream Symbolism
Humours Theory of Disease Homeopathy Phrenology Alchemy Psi
Obsolete Science Bingo

Lamarckism Miasma Theory Telegony Vital Essence Theory Emission Theory of Vision
Aristotelian Gravity Aether Plum Pudding Model Rutherford Model Geocentrism
Newtonian Gravity Steady State Theory FREE
God
SPACE
Flat Earth Theory Hollow Earth
Catastrophism Expanding Earth Theory Creationism Land Bridge Theory Freudian Dream Symbolism
Humours Theory of Disease Homeopathy Phrenology Alchemy Psi
Is ANYONE else seeing the giant loaf of uncooked bread dough?
Only to be wined, dined and disappointed, and left with a disease.
“And he stresses that it’s for sale.”
Like love.
I’m beginning to trust Dr. Ashur less and less.
So we sit and draw pictures for the tourists.
“And that they might have artificially inseminated cattle.”
“But you’re mean, and I’m not showing it to you.”
Obsolete Science Bingo

Lamarckism Miasma Theory Telegony Vital Essence Theory Emission Theory of Vision
Aristotelian Gravity Aether Plum Pudding Model Rutherford Model Geocentrism
Newtonian Gravity Steady State Theory FREE
God
SPACE
Flat Earth Theory Hollow Earth
Catastrophism Expanding Earth Theory Creationism Land Bridge Theory Freudian Dream Symbolism
Humours Theory of Disease Homeopathy Phrenology Alchemy Psi
Obsolete Science Bingo

Lamarckism Miasma Theory Telegony Vital Essence Theory Emission Theory of Vision
Aristotelian Gravity Aether Plum Pudding Model Rutherford Model Geocentrism
Newtonian Gravity Steady State Theory FREE
God
SPACE
Flat Earth Theory Hollow Earth
Catastrophism Expanding Earth Theory Creationism Land Bridge Theory Freudian Dream Symbolism
Humours Theory of Disease Homeopathy Phrenology Alchemy Psi
“The E.U.”
Obsolete Science Bingo

Lamarckism Miasma Theory Telegony Vital Essence Theory Emission Theory of Vision
Aristotelian Gravity Aether Plum Pudding Model Rutherford Model Geocentrism
Newtonian Gravity Steady State Theory FREE
God
SPACE
Flat Earth Theory Hollow Earth
Catastrophism Expanding Earth Theory Creationism Land Bridge Theory Freudian Dream Symbolism
Humours Theory of Disease Homeopathy Phrenology Alchemy Psi
Obsolete Science Bingo

Lamarckism Miasma Theory Telegony Vital Essence Theory Emission Theory of Vision
Aristotelian Gravity Aether Plum Pudding Model Rutherford Model Geocentrism
Newtonian Gravity Steady State Theory FREE
God
SPACE
Flat Earth Theory Hollow Earth
Catastrophism Expanding Earth Theory Creationism Land Bridge Theory Freudian Dream Symbolism
Humours Theory of Disease Homeopathy Phrenology Alchemy Psi
“And the Smiling Freak.”
Thousands more equally vague predictions that couldn’t be shoehorned into anything are kept in a U-Store-It downtown.
Both vaguely.
No, when he was very sick, he predicted his death within the next four days.
Who didn’t?
No, a death of a President… sometime.
And other loopy sh*t.
He was wrong.
When did he write “I’m Your Boogie Man”?
So not in ’68 or ’69, and not involving any geological upheavals then?
“…In the Atlantic.”
This is the only somewhat regular-looking bit, by the way.
Groupers!
“Leonard, must you work huge white bottoms into every single script?”

“Shut it! And get me another f***ing Gandalf robe.”

“And in other places with similar geology.”
1. STFU

2. GTFO

3. They’re the teeth of a giant space hippopotamus.
4. After Eight mints… OF THE GODS!
5. Some madman has leaked the secret of T-squares to the coral.
What could go wrong?
And the candlestick maker.
“Nothing gay happened.”

Capped by Space Toast
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com

My Latest Bad Idea

Being dumped unceremoniously here, so that I may move on to more pressing matters.

The Idea:

  • A 3d "Kart"-style game
  • That runs in a browser
  • Using Google’s free, open source O3D plugin
  • Supported by ads on in-game billboards

Why a "Kart" game:

  • Fun
  • Simple to pick up and play
  • Relatively simple AI — chooses between preset (invisible) rails and attacks opportunistically

Why O3D:

  • Allows fast, hardware-accelerated 3d in modern browsers
  • Free for developers and users
  • Non-proprietary
  • Reputable development team
  • Good feature list, growing

Problems With O3D:

  • Relatively low-level; no "JQuery" for common tasks
  • Would need to develop a toolchain from scratch to convert Animation:Master models and animations

Art Style Ideas:

  • Pen and watercolor look
  • Bright and fun
  • Simple lighting
  • Baked shadows on track
  • Fake shadows on karts and items
  • Dynamic lighting used sparingly for weapon effects
  • Cartoony characters

Track Ideas:

  • Traction issues — ice, mud, etc.
  • Wind issues — gusts, fans, etc.
  • Loop-de-loops — why should Sonic have all the fun?

Kart Ideas:

  • Permanent, unique kart/driver combos
  • Vehicles affected differently by traction and wind as appears logical
  • Left and right "slots" on each kart

“Slots” Explained:

  • Items can be stored to right or left of driver
  • Items have different weights, sometimes other characteristics
  • Item weights affect handling
  • Heavy jewels, for instance, might be worth points at the end, but be a driving liability
  • Tapping trigger switches items between slots
  • Holding trigger uses items
  • Properly-timed switching of unbalanced items can assist in turns

Drivers:

  • Lively 3d cartoon characters
  • Represent very different play styles
  • Some better suited to some tracks than others
  • Unique weapons
  • Unique weaknesses
  • Unique animations

Sample Drivers:

  • The Marboxian:
    • Reuse one of my characters
    • Drives a hovering flying saucer
    • Not affected by traction
    • Heavily affected by wind
    • Unique weapon: blaster
    • Weakness: Phat beats from radio
  • A Bear:
    • It’s a bear
    • Heaviest character
    • Not affected by wind
    • Low traction effect
    • Unique weapon: Swipes from massive paws
    • Weakness: Igor Stravinsky
  • Maxwell the Lil’ Demon:
    • Reuse a character
    • Unique Weapon: Zappy Pitchfork
  • Tommi:
    • Red-headed, pigtailed little tomboy character
  • Raq the Raccoon
    • Reuse a character
  • A Mouse:
    • Reuse a Character

Sample Items:

  • Car radio:
    • Trigger scans for next station
    • Low grade, low quality audio
    • Stations come in unreliably in different parts of the track
    • Most of it’s always country stations
    • Triggers musical weaknesses, distracting nearby drivers (see Marboxian, Bear)
    • Makes a small but satisfying hit if thrown
  • Cinder Block:
    • Affects handling, weighing down side of kart it’s slotted in
    • Makes a satisfyingly hard hit when thrown
  • Jewels:
    • Worth points at the end, as a function of their weight
  • Power ups
  • Thrown weapons:
    • Targetted by steering direction
    • Steering into opponent increases velocity

Game Logic:

  • JavaScript getting fast, but still think memory is cheaper than processing in browser
  • Lightweight AI chooses between invisible rails stored in memory
  • Lightweight "Fun Physics"
  • Two-player head to head on same computer would be fun — how many simultaneous key presses do modern OS’s allow?
  • Fresh ads loaded each time a track loads
  • No network play, at least at launch — cheating opens up a big can of woes

Physics Engine:

  • Basic 2d collision physics
  • Cheats for not bogging down on large pileups
  • Simple 3rd-axis physics — tracks are still essentially 2d

Sending Content Down the Tubes:

  • Google O3D samples VERY slow to load
  • Use simple geometry
  • Instance a lot
  • All art assets have set URLs so browser won’t re-download them if they’re already in cache
  • Light, smart use of texture maps
  • Is it possible to generate procedural textures on client side in JavaScript? Gradients, simple repeats, noise, etc.
  • Bone-based character animation

Why It’s a Bad Idea:

  • Could be turned out in a few months by a team of 4 or 5
  • I’m one person
  • Have studied the nuts&bolts of 3d, but getting O3D running well would likely take me months
  • Animation:Master toolchain, less steep, but generally likewise
  • Decent with JavaScript, but it would be the biggest project I’d ever programed by far
  • Speculated much, but never actually written a physics engine
  • Best at the art and animation side of things; still a lot of assets to create and perfect
  • Advertising would be based on impressions, as there’s no clickthrough
  • Bandwidth costs wholly unpredictable
  • Covering costs, never mind profitability, wholly unpredictable
  • I’m good at art, but I suck at business
  • I need to focus on getting more work NOW
  • Another of my thousands of over-the-rainbow ideas

There.

YouTube Captioning: Morning Musume – Kanashimi Twilight

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Human Instrumentality Continues

However, due to time constraints…

You can’t beat the fit of a PVC blouse.
“YOU WANNA SEE UP MY SKIRT?!”
Who was in charge of the Pepto color scheme?
A zucchini sunset o’er Eden
You heard me: Eat that cumin leavened in air
Gecko went, “Coochie-coo, get more!”
That guy who covers Ood in tallow
It’s a mole!
Come on man, Thayer’s the sh*t; good day!
Ben wa? My toucan? Man, douchy.
Kick a tooth, get dumb and go and use a sheep
Guitar!
Oh take me! Not there. Not there. Sh*t, it’s genetic?
Go back there, back there — Ooh, super curry!
You’ll need white cake or lying Sheens to meet the yob
Go get an anchor, an anchor, or soap from Goa
To keep your, keep your cheek out of doorbells
A book of crap, its name is Twilight
When in Japan, ride the Freudian pink tube.
Co-E.D. ocho to eat here
So let that coed tumble she next to me
In book of love, Coco’s the tan dude
And I make that journey on your camel
What the f*ck!
Was your momma eating the loony?
Mocha ain’t the key to collating
I’ll suck your knee, Matt. Ooh, she-cat! Like her alchemy?
Nein!
White tushy manga marker, you made me better
Come on, come on, cut novels at bedtime
At your Islamic temple, Eid, then get married
You’ve got to keep those, keep those combos Naruto
The same, the same, but why can’t I date him?
God that sh*t keeps going, those Twilights
“Hello? Can we get out now? We’re wearing stilettos.”
B-52s hair?
Why does she nag her, nag her? You made me taters
Nanka! Nanka! Normal set haters
Are you my long left demo? He begets nahin
He took a key to Quito: Domino Ludo
To tame the, tame the wild pair of tay-tays
Burn that sh*t. Quit talking those…
Twilights
Paper!
Rock!
Six hours later…
A graphic reminder that biker gloves are about as “hardcore” as tattoos these days.
“Are… are we done? Is it over?”

Capped by Space Toast
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com

YouTube Captioning: Jungle Girl: Chapter 1, Death by Voodoo!

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Hey Edgar, if you’re just phoning it in these days, could you add some more tits? Thanks.
Starring

NOT ENTIRELY JOAN CRAWFORD

Starring

PUFF McMANMUSCLE

Starring

GOMER PYLE

And Featuring

DICK COCKY and WET STAINES

With

ONIONHEAD KLINGER and the BLACKFACE KID

A

DAVID DUKE

Production

Next Exit

GAS

FOOD

LODGING

Scene 3½
“Then how do we know about them?”
“Better schools,” if you know what I mean. Posh assholes.
“An invisible plane!”
WE – MUST – STOP – WONDER – WOMAN – AT – ALL – COSTS
Speak of the devil…
Not so much scenes as notions.
Tag out.
“…monkey screwing little sh*t.”
Marooned in the jungle with nothing but her wits and a book of Marks & Spencer dress patterns…
“In that python.”
Shouldn’t it have passed over by now?
Relax, they’re just having a tailgate party.
Hands above your waist while running, that’s a good girl.
JUNGLE GIRL!
“Jennifer Connelly too.”
“Mom said it might get cold.”
*thunk*

“Ow!”

It’s been three seconds.
“If you know what I mean.”
This’ll be easy to smooth over.
Eventually…
Days later…
It makes you wonder why he didn’t think of that.
Clearly, this is not southern California…
“How did you get here?”
“I think I know what you mean…”
Scene 17¼
Scene 17.999999999…
“If you know what I mean.”

“That’s my line!”

“If you… *cough*… know what I mean….”
“Well, besides that fiver…”
“Exposed her to fresh air, sunshine, and regular physical activity!”
Why is there a giant ear behind him?
Ice cream!
Well, he’s secured TARP funds.
“Give up? A Hypocritical Oaf. Get it? Oh, I’ve got thousands of them.”
“You just go start the plane…”
“Classic sitcom rules. Good.”
“Stanton’s not the sharpest pecker in the wood, if you… well, you know.”
“Condoms…”
He should get some spackle for that wall back there too.
*click*
“You there! Are you chosen from the bravest men of the tribe?”

“No.”

“See? Lying guards.”

“Step through this awkward edit and I’ll show you.”
Did you get all that? It might be important later in the episode. Does anyone need a pencil?
“That should be enough white rice.”
Anything?
“That shouldn’t cause a problem.”
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
PUSH IN
Of course he does. You’re playing him too, aren’t you?
“…foxtrot.”
“…freely exploitable workforce!”
Edited by a cokehead with his own used razor blades.
( JUNGLE GIRL! )
She’d probably laugh at the notion of a villain named “Bradley.”
“Mercury is in retrograde!”
For what?
Even gunning people down he’s got that hangdog “just finished masturbating” look.
(An even sillier sounding name than “Bradley.”)
“What? Hey, that’s brilliant!”
“I’ll use my milkshake to bring them to the-“

“Don’t put that in my head.”

=0_0=
Man, the original Fitzcarraldo sucked.
JUNGLE GIRL!
At this point we’re editing just to make it end sooner.
“Who?”
“What?”
“How?”
“Where?”
“Why?”
“Who cares?”
“Beat it!”
♬ …you believe in life after love… ♬
They might as well be hiding behind a rack of postcards.
Their bow and arrows must have all jammed.
.oO(My friggin’ hero)
ANTICIPATE
FOLLOW THROUGH
If you liked the daring stunts in ‘West Side Story’…
“She should be cooked through.”
“Well, I was burned to death, but…”
“What? What were you f*cknuts DOING out here!?!”
“To get knackered.”
That we… saw.
(What spear?)Oo.
*BAMF*

“I’m here now!”

Chirpa? The chief of the ewoks?
Ooh. Awkward.
“Prepare to be nimble!”
“How fascinating.”
“My nuts!”
NEXT WEEK
Chapter Two
A NIGHT ON SPLASH MOUNTAIN

Capped by Space Toast
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com

YouTube Captioning: How to Build a Large Family

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.oO(That… bitch)
“…for sex.”
It’s strangely hard to scrub the bullshit smell from a hyphenated URL.
“…or sobriety, or even the inclination…”
Often?

A) Family planning  C) Rupert Grint        

B) Bacon            D) Their daughters seek

                        to fill the loveless

                   void by getting

                    knocked up at 15

Wait, what? Back up…
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
“Building a warren of tents and shacks, if necessary.”
“Somehow.”
(Just not one-on-one.)
“…you try to remember their names…”
That is a dangerous twitch.
“Or help them with their homework. Which is good, because most of you probably can neither read nor write.”
“Just take it! Take it, bitch! F*CK FOR JESUS! *sob* Daddy, stop hitting Mommy…
You get a phone call in prison.
“…shepherds them, if you will…”
“Mommy, I have a nail in my head.”

“Stop being so needy and demanding, dear.”

Unlike your husband, a tool who doesn’t work.
“But what do I know? I’m just a woman.”

Capped by Space Toast
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com

YouTube Captioning: Porsche 911 GT2 v Corvette ZR-1

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So don’t neglect your blog!

Don’t avoid your blog!

You can disregard me if you please

But don’t ignore your blog!

An aging douche in £60 pre-distressed designer jeans trying to look casual? Yeah, it does.
It was the talk of the cotillion.
“…laughed off the whole Sarah Palin thing…”
Zdar One?
How many odd foot of grunt is that?
“We’ll be testing them to see which one carries more groceries.”
And a better naughty 69.
And
They both run out of gas.
What a clear day. You can nearly see Leeds a mile in the background.
(•)
(•)
(•)
(•)
(•)
(•)
(•)
(•)
(•)
.oO(Can’t believe that bitch left me. Who does she think she is? She’ll pay. Sooner or later, they all pay.)
My uncle always said that Corvettes tend to pixellate at high speeds.
You guys do know you can do a freeze-frame without physically pausing the tape in the camera, right?
“I think about my ex-wife.”
Every time you take a what?
(The audio recording quality is actually fine here. No known sound codec can reproduce this much Cockney.)
“He’s not bloody Roy!”
“I’m sick now.”
“And now he’s going to Vonage.”
Please stop mentioning your Speedo.
*passes Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock in a bus*

1.5 Miles

54.45sec     55.32sec

@174.11mph     @176.82mph

Runway Barrier

62.52sec     62.52sec

@0mph     @0mph

“Proving once again how large my penis is.”
.oO(Don’t mention hitting his cat)
“I’ll make you a deal, mate… See, if you’re in the market, mate, I know a bloke who knows a bloke, see…”
Huh?
“You’ll smell better.”
Douchrace 2000: The Reckoning
After being flown back to the other end of the runway on a specially modified Boeing 747…
*plays with the radio*
“…not really love.”
Turbo Lad! Defender of British youth the world over!
Wait, he’s sitting on the right! They must have flipped the footage in post to make the other guy look faster.
You can do it, Speed Racer!
“There goes Buckaroo Bonzai on my left…”
We call it the “get down part.”
The stupider the thing is, the more money people will spend on it?
“…Neither of us got laid today, so that is a draw. I did, however, jizz, in my pants.”
T.M.I. dude.
You’d be sitting in traffic reading the ultimate frisbee bumper stickers on the back of a Geo.
“That way, both of our sponsors, will remain happy.”

Capped by Space Toast

YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com

YouTube Captioning: Conspiracy Theory: Did We Land on the Moon? Part 1

This was a collaboration between cappers KKDW, TheDiva and myself.

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Manbags
In fact, they’re mostly mistaken assumptions and half-assed guilt by association.
You are all individuals.
Why doesn’t Fox News carry that disclaimer anymore?
IN A WORLD where rockets are shot into space…
The final episode of M*A*S*H*?
Okay. I don’t believe it.
“The whole relationship, just the failed gamble of two people desperate not to be seen alone.”
Paper or plastic?
Or whatever else we can find.
“The eagle is now picking up a tortoise to drop on that rock over there…”
I’m glad they took the time to interview a guy who thinks he knows everything but doesn’t.
Tony Nelson?
Are you trying to tell me that Bush was actually pretending to be a complete idiot?
YOU MAKE THE CALL
[Insert melodrama here]
I hope this ends with Buzz Aldrin punching everyone involved in the face.
“Yeah, it’s tied.”
And promptly died of suffocation.
“Umm…what comes after nine?”
“I can’t get ‘Fly Me to the Moon’ out of my head, over…”
Wow, it’s so vaguely sexual…
Blasted in his face?
With no toilet stops on the way.
“Got really drunk and did some things they never spoke of again…”
“Read a few chapters of The Fountainhead…”
The ladies toilets? A theater showing Mamma Mia?
“No, your other right…”
(“Sh***ing Our Pants Base” didn’t quite have the same ring to it.)
Yes?
David Attenborough: “And here we see a footprint of the rare and probably endangered Neilius Armstrongius…”
Most of us don’t wear tinfoil hats and build survival shelters under our garden sheds.
Now… what were they again?
“Crap, line?”
No, that wasn’t it…
…Leap of faith, leap of faith…
So he knows everything there is to know about astronomy and space travel.
“For instance, we couldn’t decide what colour we wanted the rockets to be.”
Michael Bay’s Apollo 13
Sikh the Truth
^
|
sane
…gave him a tingly feeling.
What channel was he watching?
“I mean, where was all the green cheese?”
“A cat chasing a mouse, and getting beaten up again and again? Preposterous!”

It was Fusie the Star Sprite!

“NOOOOO stars!” *irritating whistle*

It’s almost like THE SUN WAS SHINING, you twits!
Waving… wobbling… whatever.
DUN DUN DUN!!!
Okay we admit it, we actually sent a woman!
And quite rightly, too.
“Morons, we call them.”
“WE LOVE YOU, FLOCK OF SEAGULLS!”
These people will be found and eliminated.
Umm, they’re paranoid and delusional?
Please, our government can’t keep the lid on a couple waterboardings, let alone something like this…
“Beep beep! Woo! Aliens are coming, commander! They’ll never take us alive, spaceman!
Until he was fired for being mad as pants.
Please say you’re only telling the documentary makers this because it’s what they want to hear and you don’t believe a word of what you’re saying…
“…a ten billion dollar ‘NEENER NEENER’ at the Reds?”
In order to heal.
To the TARDIS!
People should never assume anything.
“They defined that as killing us all.”
The Beanie Baby craze?
“…an America already terrified by the introduction of the Edsel.”
Sputnik: Russian for “Daddy Long-Legs”
It carried “NU – C L E – AR” bombs. Get it right, people.
“But this footage of a large explosion says otherwise…”
Crap, are we doing the Watchmen trailer again?
Did these guys know what they were being interviewed for?
These people had been reading too much science-fiction.
Ha-ha, just a little joke from me, the narrator…
“Never tell me the odds!”

You’re just making these numbers up as you go along, right?

“…Point zero, zero quillion, to the negative power of, like, infinity…”

Stupid rocket, you’re not supposed to explode until you get to Russia!
Please. Tell.
“And the leprechauns never lie to me.”
“…where did we get all the receipts?”
Why, through the magic of CGI, of course!
Since there’s no way we can pretend it didn’t actually happen.
It sent them to Pluto. CHEW ON THAT, CONSPIRACY PUSSIES!
“Hey Neil, if you don’t come back can I have your stereo?”
Passing the time with a few games of charades and Zero-G Scrabble.
“…God created reality television, and seeing what He had done sealed it away in the dark places until the coming of the Antitaste.”
“…and then Atlantis stole the missing Zapruder footage from the Reptoids.”
Scorpio Zero, Capricorn leads the series by two.
So it MUST be true!
“Switch it to the Knicks game!”
“But we’re planting an American flag anyway.”
Which you already said was filmed AFTER the moon landing! Is NASA hiding a time machine too?
But it isn’t.
Producer:
1. Gringo Wedding (2006) (executive producer)
2. Barbarosa (1982) (producer)
3. Hanover Street (1979) (producer)
4. Capricorn One (1978) (producer)
5. Extreme Close-Up (1973) (producer)

Self:
1. Conspiracy Theory: Did We Land on the Moon? (2001) (TV) …. Himself

“I also believe Bigfoot knows where Hoffa’s body is.”
The pudding is solid?
So let me get this right, they’re putting a later piece of fiction forward as evidence that the moon landings were faked?
“…none of us actually had sex…”
Oh please. You can’t even make your toupee look convincing.
Tv monitors! It’s true!
*klieg light falls on astronaut*

But they somehow forgot the stars. Remember that.

I think you’ve had enough…

Capped by KKDW, TheDiva and Space Toast
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com

YouTube Captioning: Mormon Messages: How Can I Find Happiness?

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“The biggest consumer, Utah, averaged 5.47 adult content subscriptions per 1000 home broadband users…”
-ABC News
Then you’re probably in Salt Lake City.
What do you think, chunky Beverly Hills Cop-era Paul Reiser?
You wonder if the lake-effect rain will ever lose input under an occluded front.
A neck brace?
“Thank you. Good night.”
“…bigamy…”
“…xenophobia…”
“…filicide…”
So we live in Utah, to avoid that temptation.
“My picture!”
“Dad, you’re squishing my picture too!”
“I f**** hate you two!”
Our degrading, precious bodily fluids.
Paul Reiser again?
First down. 12:21 on the clock. Romans have possession.
“Or cutting remarks.”
“Suck iiiiiit…”
Messianic Apathetic
DC Comics Jesus #1 (August 1936)
“Are you gonna start the auction or not?”
No matter how many times “Scrubs” is on cable at any given second…
Please Pablo… Come to Florida…
(He’s omnipotent, but touchy.)
“I don’t really like thrillers so much…”
?
Wasn’t that a “But…” ?

Capped by Space Toast
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com